The Charisma Myth

I’ve started reading The Charisma Myth. One of the early statements that has stood out is this:

Because what’s in your mind shows up in your body and because people will catch even the briefest microexpression, to be effective, charismatic behaviors must originate in your mind.

This has resonated with some of my recent personal experiments in human interaction, where I basically just fuck with people as subtly as possible.

What I’ve been doing is trying to determine who really enjoys seeing me, and who doesn’t. So I have tried to keep my face as neutral as possible when I see people, which has given me a whole lot of nothing in response. Literally, for most people, if I don’t open them, they’re quiet.

Now, the me of my youth would have assumed they just didn’t want to be bothered. But, older, and wiser me has a plethora of past behavior, and most people that I enjoy seeing truly enjoy seeing me. But, because of my physical and emotional presence, most everyone else is waiting for my emotional state to play off of, and when they don’t get that, they don’t really know what to do.

It seems like this is a big sticking point for all the text monkeys that seem to be spreading disease like through the land, they keep waiting on other people to make a move. If you’re dominant, which you should be as a man, you’ll be waiting a long time. You have to bring the charisma with you, because most people just don’t have it. Especially women, who tend toward responsive desire. They’re waiting for you to bring it to their world.

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The Selfie and Hook-Up Culture Explained

For some reason, people keep trying to come up with great big complicated sociological reasons for the hook-up culture on college campuses and the huge proliferation of selfies by high school women. Well, if college taught useful skills to everyone, like calculus, perhaps it wouldn’t be such an issue.

Look at that graph and consider that a woman is hypergamous, where she wants a man that is of higher status than herself, and sex ratios highly influence the bargaining power of women for stable long term relationships, ie marriage versus hooking up. Look at the area under the curve. Women start to blow up in sexual marketplace value (SMV) after puberty, which keeps starting earlier and earlier, and men go nowhere fast.

What this means, is that a 15 year old woman has very few male “peers” of a higher sex rank (SR). So how in the world will she attract a man of higher sex rank? Well, she most likely has not had sex yet, and that’s a significant wall to climb, so she’s not ready for the hookup culture. What she can do, is focus on taking selfies. This is a natural reaction to the incredibly relationship poor marketplace that high school women have to deal with. They are near their peak, with no options their age, the same as men in their thirties. The selfie is a way to reach the natural assortative mating marketplace, and to try to get her historical worth for her high SR.

But what happens when this same woman reaches college? By the age of 18 half will have had sex, and at 19 more than two thirds will have had sex. But, again these women are still segregated from most of the men that are of a higher SR, and so they are not able to sustain commitment from the few men that can match their SR, but are too busy enjoying the results of a highly rigged economy.

And we should all know by now that once a women loses her virginity to one man without commitment, her chances of being in a successful long term relationship decrease drastically. So she continues hooking up, but she has almost no choice in such a rigged SMV, and like it or not, our instincts to have sex after puberty are our driving force. She keeps telling herself that she’s just having a good time, but keeps pining for her alpha widow to choose her.

The selfie and the hook-up culture are a result of a segmented sexual economy, that gives women little if no options to get the proper value of man for themselves. It’s why so many older women, with their low SR are so vicious about separating high SR men and women the way western society has; they have to rig the game against their more worthwhile sisters to have a fighting chance, which I’ll delve into next post.

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No Sex Means No Relationship

So, Athol’s been having some issues, what with all that having to please people and play nice to earn a living. I, on the other hand, make zero dollars from my opinions, so I’m not worried if you all don’t like me.

After reading that thread, and all the talk about a “Hard NO” in a relationship, I realized that when I’ve been given hard no’s in a relationship, I always did one thing…

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Deuces.

Now, when you’re gaming a chick to get in her pants, it’s different. You’re going to get some hard no’s. This reader over at the Chateau wrote:

she told me she wouldn’t sleep with me tonight. we went to a bar afterward and i told her calmly i was very angry at her for coming out with me with no interest in coming home with me, and that i’d never call her again. she broke down crying.

About a woman he hadn’t slept with yet and committed no resources to. That’s just stupid. Frame control, don’t ever lose it, or you lose the game before you find the hole.

But, when you’re in a committed relationship, where you promise her you’re not going to sleep with any other women, she loses the right to a Hard NO. Unless she’s physically ill. Other than that, it’s always game on. Women have responsive desire, so her no better always mean she just needs more convincing, aka foreplay. A straight up NO!, no matter what she won’t fuck you, that’s an end game statement.

Th reason being, she has your most valuable possession, your C-Card. As Ian Ironwood says,

it’s as important as a sixteen year old girl’s hymen.

Nothing is more important to a man than his commitment, especially when you legally obligate yourself to bust your ass, like when you get married. Because the main thing men do, is create more than we use (any man worth a shit, that is). When you commit to a women, she gets your excess production. Mainly to make and care for babies, which are giant black holes for all your resources.

And you get sex. It’s great that you have oxytocin pair bonding love, but it still boils down to your resources, her vagina. If you get no vagina, she gets no resources.

It’s not complicated, and it’s the only way you’ll ever truly be alpha, captain, the man, or whatever, of your relationship. She has to know you’ll walk if you get that hard no. Because if you decided to become the man in her life, the man that will take care of her, then she better be the woman in your life that takes care of you.

No excuses.

Let Her (or Him) Hamsterbate Your Way to Success

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I’ve been experimenting with this for awhile, which is trying to see how much influence I can exert over people through just body movements and posture. I read the book What Every Body is Saying, and really started experimenting with different postures at work, and trying to see what other people’s bodies were saying. The book itself isn’t particularly mind blowing, it just really helped me be able to quickly recognize and categorize other people’s behavior, much better than before.

And while doing this I recognized the true effectiveness of another behavior. While I was standing or sitting, considering the implications of my posture, which was usually dominant, and then looking out how the person I was talking to was standing or sitting, they would become more submissive and talkative. And as they would become submissive, I would generally look slightly quizzical, but still maintain my posture, and they would become even more submissive and talkative.

I could watch them slowly hamsterbate themselves into submission, purely from my posture and lack of response. The dominance increased while I was silent. Now, you generally can’t pause for more than 3-4 seconds when they’re done speaking, to reply, but the effect was striking. And it worked for both my superiors and subordinates.

And so, I really started using this in my interactions with women. As I mentioned before, my goals with women involve making new helpless little primates, and my living situation is about to drastically change, so I’m not trying to escalate to a F close at the moment. But, I still love talking to attractive women, and I had some experiments to run. It worked beautifully.

Women’s minds work even quicker than their mouths do, so when you hesitate to consider your and her relative body position, her hamster goes crazy. Plus, the look of a man thinking about the three dimensional placement is completely different than the “I want to fuck you” meat stare, or the hopeless “I desperately need you and would be happy getting friendzoned” puppy dog look. Which drives women crazy, since very few women possess good spatial reasoning skills, and they can’t understand that look.

Which made me realize, that almost every time in my past relationships, when a woman asked me, “What are you thinking?” I was almost always doing some sort of spatial reasoning in my head. So the question always annoyed the shit out of me, because I knew she could never fully grasp what I was thinking, and it would be a pain in the ass to explain without diagrams.

Which brings it all back to this quote by Leap of Beta:

The best thing a man can do for his game is to avoid anti-game manouvers, and shutting the hell up goes a long way to avoiding such things.

It’s much easier to shut the hell up when you have something interesting to think about.

The Child Support Test

So, Klink1 wanted to know more about the Child Support Test I mentioned awhile back. It’s my baseline criteria for sleeping with a woman. I’m not sure of the legalities in most countries, but in the U.S., if you have a child with a woman, and she can prove that it’s yours, then you owe her child support for 18 years, until that child becomes an adult.

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Well, my personal goal is to have kids, and I hate having sex with condoms, so the chance of me having kids when I have sex is fairly high. I know I’m shooting live bullets, for various reasons. I’m not a big believer in waiting until marriage — or really, more than three meetups — to have sex, either.

So, I use the The Child Support Test. I’ve slept with enough women, been in relationships with enough woman, and have enough married and divorced friends, to get a good handle on the relationship qualities of a woman fairly quickly. Basically, I have to be able to deduce that if she gets pregnant, and a relationship with her doesn’t pan out, what kind of mom would she be to a kid who’s parents are separated.

Because over half of all marriages don’t work out, and I’m not going to wait that long to have sex, so I have to take into account what happens in the case of failure. And if I wouldn’t want to pay her child support for 18 years, because I think she’d be a bad mom or a short sighted gold digger, then I won’t sleep with her.

Her level of hotness is factored into this, but does not change anything to do with the bad mom/gold digger issues. What it does have to deal with, is that if she is beautiful, and maintains a lifestyle of proper diet and exercise, then I’m more likely to sleep with her even if I may have doubts about our relationship panning out. Because a beautiful woman is much more likely to attract a second (or third, or fourth, etc.) man to provide for her, and any kids I might have had with her. She still has to come off as good mom, far sighted about money woman, though.

The Child Support Test is how I account for possible failure. I want to have kids, and I want to raise them as their father while living with their mother, because I believe that is by far the best home life a child can have. But shit happens, so I want to be prepared.

Types of Women By Notch Count

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The carousel rider.
These women have tried to kiss the sky, and been brutally burned. They’ve learned to settle for repeated bad sex, or good sex with no second helpings. No woman wants to be just fucked randomly on the weekends. If she has good sex, she wants to keep having sex with that same guy. And even though men love sex, especially with new women, the carousel rider can’t even get a quality lay to come back just to fuck her. She’s only a notch, and she’ll always be a notch.
You can spot her by the intense, false bravado she puts on when she’s in the spotlight, but fleeting expressions of sadness will cross her face while she scans the room. And if you can catch her when she thinks no one is looking, you will see the slumped shoulders and downcast eyes of defeat. These women are usually 7’s and below, and are always an alpha widow. I can fuck these women at will, but I’ve rarely chosen to. And alcohol was the main contributing factor.
The siren, serial monogamist.
These women have an intense joy of life, and living in the moment. These women have by far the best girl game, because they love falling in love. The relationship will be intense and consuming. They will be seductive, voluptuous, and settle for nothing but the best in game. They are enchanting but honest, and while they never fall in love expecting it to end, it will when the fire dies down.
Because the fire will die down, because few men have the patience, desire, and resources, to continuously game these women at the same level as they first wooed them. But, many other men will, because a siren is nothing if not universally attractive. They can be spotted by their complete lack fear. They live in a different world from other women, continuously taken care of by almost all the men they meet. These women are 8’s and above. They are also the easiest woman for me to game, because they are the only women where it truly is a game, and a wonderfully natural one at that.
The gold digger, serial monogamist.
I don’t mess with gold diggers. Making prodigious amounts of money has never been my forte, so they don’t really mess with me, either. They are brutally cunning, and by far the most logical and intelligent of women. They can be spotted by the questions they ask, their muted response to game, and their extremely transactional approach to life. Their attractiveness is all over the scale, because they are the most logical of women, they know how to use what the have, and adjust their sights accordingly.
The monogamist.
These women want a man, and they want him forever. They are attracted to game, but combine this with much of the logic of a gold digger. They’ve wanted all of their relationships to work out, but occasionally chose the wrong man by mistake. If a women shows absolutely no interest in me, or scares the crap out of me with crazy eyes, she’s most likely a monogamist. A monogamist without a man, or with the wrong man, is like a starving lioness. She is on the prowl, and is incredibly dangerous. She’ll trap you before you know what happened. These women are also all over the scale, and I tend to game them unintentionally, and pay the consequence.
The virgin.
The virgin has a willingness to please that no other women has. She has never experienced true womanly anger, because a women can never be as angry at anyone as she can at a man who’s fucked her. Her emotions will vacillate incredibly rapidly, from eagerness, to happiness, to shyness, and back when she is into you. Whatever bravado or girl game she displays initially will quickly disappear when you’ve passed her previous comfort zone.
You must lead a virgin, because she truly doesn’t know what to do. However, there is nothing like a no with a virgin, only a not yet. If you are patient, and lead her as man truly should, there is nothing she won’t do for you. I didn’t really like virgins when I was younger, because they’re so much damn work. As I get older, the work becomes easier, and I value the payoff that comes with it.

The Pre-Approach Defendability Scale

This comes out of this forum conversation.

Whether or not men approach depends on what their goal is — relationship or sex — and whether they can defend the woman they’re approaching until they achieve this goal. Men don’t approach out of their league, because they don’t think they can keep the girl, whether through physical confrontation, charm, or status.

We all have mental models in our heads of girls and the guys they’re with. Whether a guy has figured this out consciously or not, it’s what happens. The pre-approach defendability scale is higher when a guy is seeking long term relationships, ie he won’t step out of his league because he knows his chances of defending the girl for a long time are nil. The closer a guy is to seeking just sex, the lower the pre-approach defendability scale, because he doesn’t need to defend her for long to achieve his goal, ie he’ll step out of his league and spam women because his main threat is physical violence.

However, if a girl is attractive, and looks like she’ll take time to wear down, then a man just seeking sex will hesitate on the approach because he’ll need to defend her for too long, while many men of lower status seeking relationships will not approach because she’s beyond they’re defendability scale as well.

The pre-approach defendability scale is why most men only do social circle approaches, because it’s much easier to define the woman’s defendability when you already know all the men in the social group, and your group will help you defend her from outsiders.

See at about 2:20 here.