The Charisma Myth

I’ve started reading The Charisma Myth. One of the early statements that has stood out is this:

Because what’s in your mind shows up in your body and because people will catch even the briefest microexpression, to be effective, charismatic behaviors must originate in your mind.

This has resonated with some of my recent personal experiments in human interaction, where I basically just fuck with people as subtly as possible.

What I’ve been doing is trying to determine who really enjoys seeing me, and who doesn’t. So I have tried to keep my face as neutral as possible when I see people, which has given me a whole lot of nothing in response. Literally, for most people, if I don’t open them, they’re quiet.

Now, the me of my youth would have assumed they just didn’t want to be bothered. But, older, and wiser me has a plethora of past behavior, and most people that I enjoy seeing truly enjoy seeing me. But, because of my physical and emotional presence, most everyone else is waiting for my emotional state to play off of, and when they don’t get that, they don’t really know what to do.

It seems like this is a big sticking point for all the text monkeys that seem to be spreading disease like through the land, they keep waiting on other people to make a move. If you’re dominant, which you should be as a man, you’ll be waiting a long time. You have to bring the charisma with you, because most people just don’t have it. Especially women, who tend toward responsive desire. They’re waiting for you to bring it to their world.

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The Selfie and Hook-Up Culture Explained

For some reason, people keep trying to come up with great big complicated sociological reasons for the hook-up culture on college campuses and the huge proliferation of selfies by high school women. Well, if college taught useful skills to everyone, like calculus, perhaps it wouldn’t be such an issue.

Look at that graph and consider that a woman is hypergamous, where she wants a man that is of higher status than herself, and sex ratios highly influence the bargaining power of women for stable long term relationships, ie marriage versus hooking up. Look at the area under the curve. Women start to blow up in sexual marketplace value (SMV) after puberty, which keeps starting earlier and earlier, and men go nowhere fast.

What this means, is that a 15 year old woman has very few male “peers” of a higher sex rank (SR). So how in the world will she attract a man of higher sex rank? Well, she most likely has not had sex yet, and that’s a significant wall to climb, so she’s not ready for the hookup culture. What she can do, is focus on taking selfies. This is a natural reaction to the incredibly relationship poor marketplace that high school women have to deal with. They are near their peak, with no options their age, the same as men in their thirties. The selfie is a way to reach the natural assortative mating marketplace, and to try to get her historical worth for her high SR.

But what happens when this same woman reaches college? By the age of 18 half will have had sex, and at 19 more than two thirds will have had sex. But, again these women are still segregated from most of the men that are of a higher SR, and so they are not able to sustain commitment from the few men that can match their SR, but are too busy enjoying the results of a highly rigged economy.

And we should all know by now that once a women loses her virginity to one man without commitment, her chances of being in a successful long term relationship decrease drastically. So she continues hooking up, but she has almost no choice in such a rigged SMV, and like it or not, our instincts to have sex after puberty are our driving force. She keeps telling herself that she’s just having a good time, but keeps pining for her alpha widow to choose her.

The selfie and the hook-up culture are a result of a segmented sexual economy, that gives women little if no options to get the proper value of man for themselves. It’s why so many older women, with their low SR are so vicious about separating high SR men and women the way western society has; they have to rig the game against their more worthwhile sisters to have a fighting chance, which I’ll delve into next post.

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Men Are The More Emotional Sex

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Emotions are why we make decisions, and the main logic we use is to rationalize that decision, and make it work.

Men are much more emotional than women, do to the much higher production of hormones. However, it’s always in the same direction, hence men continuing the status quo long after it’s gone. It’s also why men’s emotions cause them to ACT in many ways that can be quite life shortening, while women’s emotions mainly just cause them to be annoying.

Women experience change or acceleration in emotional status more than men, however their emotional velocity is still lower.

An analogy is men are in a car always traveling 50 miles per hour, while a woman’s car travels at 20 mph, now 10, now it’s in reverse, now it’s going 5mph, what the hell is going on? However, in the case of an accident or misjudgement, the man will end up with much more serious repercussions.

This is why men seem more logical, most of the time we only have to plan for our one way emotional speeding car, while women have a great deal more possibilities to prepare for.

It’s also why men seem to continuously mature, and many women plateau, it’s just too great a computational difference to really plan for. It probably has a great deal to do with why women continuously fitness test, again from the greater change in emotions, while a man has adjusted, and wonders why his woman can’t.

And finally, it explains why many man are devastated by breakups, while women tend to recover faster. The hormones and emotional attachment aren’t there to the same extent.

Graph From Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Blood_values_sorted_by_mass_and_molar_concentration.png